At the same time as I absolutely hate this blog, I am completely addicted to it.
I write here all my emotional outbreaks, feelings, and then alot of the time, just strange thougts I am having, things I find funny and the occational outlook of how much double moral I have hidden inside my brain.
I cant seem to make up my mind about much these days.
The truth is that, the only reason I am actually keeping this blog is so that I can just for a moment or so releave all the pressure in my head and just get it out and make it stick to something. I also have a book at home which I draw in. It is my little emo book. Not that I can either write nor draw, but the feeling of taking something out of your head, and fokusing on that one small part, for just a little while, is liberating.
I think if I didn't have some way of just letting it go, my mind would fill up with chaos.
I dont think very many people actually read it either, and the few that do sure as hell don't end up sitting there with a fuzzy and warm feeling inside after reading my small tortured sentences.
My grandfather does the same thing, he writes in books, he has loads of them.
Maybe that is where I have it from.
He can write though, really well, and he writes poetry and rhymes, about stupid thing, silly and funny, and then the bigger things and experiences in his life.
Most of them piss me off.
But there it is.. his whole life, cover to cover of 8 or 9 different books!
I cant stand comparing myself to him, but this is maybe just the one thing I guess I am glad I take after him.
You can study language, literature, history and filosofy, but a single word will never have so much meaning untill you start putting meaning into them yourself.
So to most people this here.. these words entering you mind right now. May not mean anything at all, nothing more that the cheap knockoff of a bad novel at W.H.Smiths.
But hopefully, for someone. Anyone. This is the key to something bigger.
I write here all my emotional outbreaks, feelings, and then alot of the time, just strange thougts I am having, things I find funny and the occational outlook of how much double moral I have hidden inside my brain.
I cant seem to make up my mind about much these days.
The truth is that, the only reason I am actually keeping this blog is so that I can just for a moment or so releave all the pressure in my head and just get it out and make it stick to something. I also have a book at home which I draw in. It is my little emo book. Not that I can either write nor draw, but the feeling of taking something out of your head, and fokusing on that one small part, for just a little while, is liberating.
I think if I didn't have some way of just letting it go, my mind would fill up with chaos.
I dont think very many people actually read it either, and the few that do sure as hell don't end up sitting there with a fuzzy and warm feeling inside after reading my small tortured sentences.
My grandfather does the same thing, he writes in books, he has loads of them.
Maybe that is where I have it from.
He can write though, really well, and he writes poetry and rhymes, about stupid thing, silly and funny, and then the bigger things and experiences in his life.
Most of them piss me off.
But there it is.. his whole life, cover to cover of 8 or 9 different books!
I cant stand comparing myself to him, but this is maybe just the one thing I guess I am glad I take after him.
You can study language, literature, history and filosofy, but a single word will never have so much meaning untill you start putting meaning into them yourself.
So to most people this here.. these words entering you mind right now. May not mean anything at all, nothing more that the cheap knockoff of a bad novel at W.H.Smiths.
But hopefully, for someone. Anyone. This is the key to something bigger.
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