Crazy Lady?

Yesterday at work I was kind of put of guard. Suddenly this obviously christian lady told me that she saw Jesus when she was five years old and just went on and on. It came sort of out of nowhere. I was helping her and a friend, "sorry, we are out of rice".
As her friends was getting Ketchup and a fork I said "Excuse me miss, may I help you?" she answered that she was fine and leaned over the counter looking me straight in the eyes "I saw Jesus when I was only five years old."
I was shocked, I acctually nearly started to laugh, as I got a grip I said "Aha, interresting, well, that must have been an incredible experience..."
She looked me further in the eyes and said, "I was at the cabin in the wood with my family when I saw him standing there, smiling at me, I felt like I owned the heavens at that moment"
I was starting to think that this lady had gone absolutely mental! but as a perfectly good employee I smiled at her and said "wow, that must have been nice"
"There is a heaven up there you see, there really is"
I couldn't hold my sarcasm and I blurted out "Jeez, I really hope so, if I'm struggeling trough life for nothing than thats it..!"
She looked at me and said "God is as close to you as I am, you can just sit down and talk to him and he will listen, I know, I can feel it, you should try to read the new testament"
"Maybe I will some day" I continued trying to get away.
As she left she asked me my name, when I said it she smiled at me and started to slowly walk away smiling at me, then she told me her name.
after that she was gone. I found it strange afterward, the only reason I got them as a customer was because my co-worker came and got me in the storage room in a fit and pleaded me to switch cutomers before she went balistic on some rude lady.
I started thinking about my strange experience over the chicken counter when I was on my way home, was this my sign? I know it seems really strange, but with the though of my belief being non-existant and how that has been an issue for me lately, this lady spoke to me as if she knew me.
Or maybe she was just another crazy christian. I guess I'll never know, but it seems strange to me.
But having an experience like this at the age of 5 and the influence it had on her... it must mean something..

Atheist.

I am not sure wheter or not I ever was a believer in god or any higher power.

I am an atheist, which is in way way easy to say, but hard. I envy people who have something to believe in, something to get them trough the rough intesity of life itself.

I don't know what it is that keeps me away from this faith.

I was christened, or baptised if you prefer when I was a baby, and I later chose to get confirmated.

Many youths choose to get confirmated for the money and the other big and small present you get from friends and family. I chose to go trough it on my own personal quest for faith, what it was all about. I went to church, I went to church-camp, I read, I searched and what did I find? nothing. I guess I believe more in science, in history, in what can be proven, and then I heard that where there is doubt, our faith begins to vanish.

And fear rushes in to take its place.