More Afraid Of Life Than Death

I can't help that it sometimes crosses my mind. I have short-time-memory problems, which is an issue enough as it is, but this senario just keeps popping into my mind.

I am standng outside in the middle of the night and looking in through my window, my lights are on inside so I can see everything perfectly.
Then the sun comes up and I can no longer see in because of the sun's reflection on the glass.

Is that my memory?

I have been thinking alot lately about the stories my grandmother used to tell me, and I just now, 4 months after her passing, realised that I no longer will hear those stories, let alone her voice. Is that strange?
I am afraid of the sun blocking my memory aswell as my view into my bedroom. I know what is there, but the details?, and then, what about the times when night-times only introduce a frosted glass? And what about when someone turns off my lights?

I once read that on healtlink that :
living in fear can be the unraveling of unity and a sense of collective purpose.
Living in fear means that we look for endless distractions that may include alcohol, drugs, unwise relationships, and excessive use of entertainment.

And I realised that I have and still am, living in fear, and I am working my way out of it.

Will I forget how along the way?